Quality and Quantity – Key Components for Lasting Memories

Memories 
We all have them. Good and Bad.

I grew up knowing that my parents were always around.  My mom was a stay at home mom, and was always around.  She was my girl scout leader, classroom mom for parties… always around.  My parents attended the majority of my sporting events, and we always ate dinner together as a family.  I knew that I could count on my parents to be there for me… even if I never voiced my appreciation for their presence, I was (and will always be) thankful.

Yet, when I think back on my memories I don’t have many specific memories that stick out when I was young.  The memories that I do remember and cherish are the memories where my parents took time out of their day to really connect with me. 

When I was in high school, my mom would randomly send me flowers at school dubbing it “Rachel appreciation week”. I loved it.

Once a year, my mom would take me (and my sisters on other days) out of school where we would just enjoy the day together… just she and I.  We would eat lunch, talk, shop… and just enjoy the day. I loved it.

I remember this one time I was riding in the car with my dad, I was in middle school, and my dad said the word, “sucks”.  I was shocked and thought for the first time in my young life that my dad actually was COOL! Memories.

I am sure my parents played catch and ball with me multiple times (as I always was playing a sport), but the one memory that sticks out is this one time I played one-on-one basketball with my dad in the backyard.  He kept making these funny annoying embarrassing silly breathing noises to distract me… and it worked.  I loved playing with him!

Reflecting upon my own childhood past really has me thinking about how I parent my children.  I am a stay-at-home mom, and am always around.  I spend lots of quantity time with my children… yet can not honestly say that there is a lot of quality one-on-one time spent with each child.

I do not want my children to reflect back upon their childhood and remember a haggard, angry, woman who never laughed, never had fun, never smiled and always carried a big wooden spoon. Or a mom who has these extreme rules and expectations that allow for no freedom or fun.  (Okay, perhaps that is an exaggeration of how *I* view myself).

I want my children to have a vivid, HAPPY, childhood filled with fond memories of time spent together as a family.  Quality as well as quantity time spent with each child… making our own special memories together.

I have read many positive parenting books, articles, and websites.  Many of them encourage having positive interaction with your children.  Most push spending quality one-on-one time with your children. 

 

While I do agree that quality one-on-one time is important, where I struggle is finding the time to do exactly that. I have three active attention seeking little boys… who always want my attention.  Unfortunately, so does my housework, husband, responsibilities, and more!  Yet, I do not want my kids to think that they are second best… they are more important to me than other stuff.

My quality one-on-one time is called a date.  I love going on “dates” with my boys.  These memories include: going to get coffee (hot chocolate) and a pastry, going for a hike together, swimming, crafts… and even having a heartfelt conversation (eyes glued on my child with no other distractions).  I love our dates!  I love those memories with my children.

I pray that my boys will be able to look back at their childhood and smile… cherishing the memories that were made.  Memories.  It is up to us to make the most of this life… live and enjoy it to the fullest: positive, uplifting, happy memories. 

What actions are you taking to make special memories with your children?