When is a number just a number. Today I am going to dive into a topic I don’t usually talk about on my blog… because it is a personal one. When is the number on the scale not just a number? Because to be completely honest, sometimes a number isn’t just a number.
Most of us know, by now, that the number on the scale does not define us. The number on the scale is only one way to measure our health and our hard work. Yet, if that number didn’t truly define us… why is it that we (myself totally included) still feel defined by that number.
I struggle with the number that greets me when I hop on the scale. I know I am beautiful. I know that I am strong. I know that I am healthy. I know that I am loved. Yet somehow, when I hop on that scale… I see that number… none of that other stuff matters. I am defined by that number from that particular moment.
I struggle with body image and my view of what my weight and body should be. I have insecurities as a woman: wife, mother, athlete. I know my body can do amazing things… yet this number, just a number, has a wicked hold on me. When is it just a number? When is it more?
This just a number that doesn’t define me is never satisfied. I always will want it smaller. This number doesn’t define me… yet it does.
Life will not change if my number decreases. The only thing that will change is how I view my life. My perception of my own reality… of myself. I want to be healthier. I want to be happier. I want to look on the outside how I feel on the inside.
My happy number is not yours. My journey is not yours. It is my own personal journey. Starting today, I am sharing with you the raw and exposed me. I want you to help hold me accountable. I will continue to be honest with my personal struggle… and what I am doing to find success on my personal journey with the scale.
This body. This weight can do amazing things. I am strong. I can run far. I can run fast. I can lift heavy objects. This body is amazing.
Sometimes a number just isn’t a number… it is a whole bunch of things.
This is me. I am a mom to three little boys. I am healthy. I am strong. I am loved. I also know that I do not take the best care of me. I am too busy taking care of others… that I neglect myself.
This is going to change. I am going to make myself a priority. I feed it, talk to it, and treat it in ways that I would never do with anyone else! I abuse my own body with food, negative self-talk, and junk. This needs to change. It isn’t just a number anymore… it is a starting point.
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Yes, I run and work out… but in equal portions I eat… junk… and lots of it! I know my body is capable of much more. I know that this number isn’t just a number… it is a wake up call for me to get focused, get healthy, and get down to business. To protect this house!
This is my number. It doesn’t define me… it will refine me. It is there as a reminder to put myself first. To jump start my healthy living program… again. Even though it is just a number… this number means so much more that what is shown. Sometimes a number isn’t just a number… to me.
My healthy living journey has been a roller coaster ride. Sometimes we have to re-read certain chapters in our journey to continue moving forward. I am doing just that. I will share with you weekly updates on my journey as well as my successes and struggles. I would love your support as I re-enter this weight loss journey… to find my healthy and happy number.
Rachel – this brought tears to my eyes. I am so proud of you! Pictures and a scale shot – girl you are amazing! and inspiring! Every single word you wrote describes what most of us face! While the scale does not define us – I think we all “fight” with that gosh darn number we see. And you meet one number goal and soon it is another…. we fight against pictures in magazines of actresses and models with kids and perfect bodies – and the “smart” side of us knows it is not all real and the insecure side wishes you could be that girl. THANK YOU for being a real role model to all of your readers – me included! I feel lucky to know you.
Amazing post hun!!! Very, very proud of you for addressing the same feelings so many of us have as we ‘STEP’ on the scale. I struggle so much with my own insecurities and wonder when I will ever just be happy with who I am and what god gave me. My number is never good enough and I long for the body I had in my 20’s when, even then, I felt ‘fat’. While in my heart I know that if I stop feeding my head with all the negativity I might actually see some real progress…instead of sabotaging myself, my workouts and my diet. Thank you for being so brave and helping me refocus on the positives! You have my full support!!! Love ya girl!!!
I loved this post! It’s hard because sometimes we need to pay attention to that number. I ignored it for so long, even though I knew that I was not going in the right direction and then I started to face health problems because I wasn’t taking care of my body. I think I need that number sometimes to keep me honest with what I’m putting in it, but like you said we need to remember that it’s only one measure of our physical well being.
Thank you for being such an inspiration! Ironically, I’ve been struggling with the same thing lately, and it was so hopeful to see a blogger and runner that I admire is going through the same thing. Thank you for sharing this!
Very good post. It’s hard to open up about stuff like this. You’re so very brave!!
The number on the scale can be a wake-up call. As I watched my number creep higher and higher, I decided to take action. I started eating better and kicking up my workouts. Thankfully I have been able to maintain my new weight.
Now that I’ve basically been at my “goal weight” for a few years now (after a lifetime of being overweight and 10+ years of struggling), I have finally put the the number on the scale in its place–as a gauge of how well I’ve been balancing my healthy/indulgent eating and exercise. Even when the number has creeped up, I’ve been able to accept it as an objective measure that something is out of balance. Sometimes it’s work stress or work travel, sometimes its family stress or celebrations. Still, I must admit that I have never been unhappy when the number is lower than I think it ought to be.
Rachel!
what an amazing post!!! I was literally just thinking about the things we talked about briefly when we met at CalFit by the pool and wanted to see how things were going with your weight loss and fitness goals. I love that you are getting motivated and wanting others to help hold you accountable and I would love to help do that…would you like to meet at the gym to workout sometime? I’ve changed my workouts lately and had pretty good results and I always love finding new mommies to workout with!
So very true!! Personally I prefer to just have a “lifestyle” where I eat properly (as you do) and exercise, without worrying about exact numbers on the scale. I still check every now and then, of course, but I don’t do it daily. It can be encouraging, but also discouraging too. I just don’t believe in them. As you say, it really is just a number. If you’re specifically training for something and need to be a certain weight, that’s different of course. Otherwise, it’s best (IMHO) to curb your addiction to them and use them sparingly. The number doesn’t define your efforts, or who you are 🙂
Very inspirational post Rachel! May this serve as a reminder to everyone that numbers should never define someone, it should refine them. It’s just a mathematical label. What’s the big deal if you weigh a hundred kilos on the scale? Does this automatically mean that you’re unworthy? Of course not! It a sad thing that people tend to have lower self esteem because of this. Numbers couldn’t tell how great you are as a person. Nor can it tell how crazy, funny, lovely you are. Start feeling good about yourself. Be positive and enjoy life. By feeling good inside you’ll be able to spread your positive aura to other people.